


Grey

by kenezbian



Category: Rooster Teeth Productions RPF
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Deathfic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 05:05:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenezbian/pseuds/kenezbian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin gets sick and Michael puts his life on standby for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grey

It started with a cough.

Michael first noticed it during a Minecraft Let’s Play. Gavin was having trouble catching his breath after a good laugh, and there was this awkward dry cough that sent chills down his spine. The Brit was never sick.

The cough hung around for a week, then two, then three, and then finally after a month Geoff forced the idiot to the doctor because he didn’t want Millie to catch whatever-it-was. He was diagnosed with walking pneumonia and given antibiotics.

They didn’t help. The cough worsened, and he started to seem… for lack of a better word, wilty. He told Michael he was exhausted but he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t breathe when he laid down. The rings under his eyes grew darker every day, and finally, Michael couldn’t bear to see him like that anymore, and drove him to the clinic himself.

What should have been a quick appointment ended up lasting three hours. When Gavin finally emerged from the hallway leading to the examination rooms, he looked like he had seen the face of Death.

Michael stood up and went to approach the younger man, but Gavin shook his head and bolted for the parking lot. The redhead followed him as fast as he could, and finally caught his elbow just outside the door.

“Gavin, what the hell—” he started, but was swiftly cut off by a kiss.

There was a hand in his hair and another on his hip and the slender hips pressed closely to his own and before he knew what he was doing he was wrapping his hands around the skinny waist and pulling him in to make the kiss deeper and for a first kiss between two men who had never kissed other men before, it was intimate and wonderful.

Gavin finally broke off the kiss but stayed close, waiting for Michael’s eyes to refocus. When they finally did, he sighed and pressed his lips together in a thin line. “I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“What for?”

“I’m sorry it took so long. And maybe I shouldn’t have done it under the circumstances—”

“What circumstances? What happened in there?!” Michael took a step back out of Gavin’s arms, confusion turning to anger swiftly.

“Michael,” Gavin started, scrubbing a hand over his face, “there’s… the doctor found… I have a growth in my left lung. The x-ray looked awful.”

The color drained from Michael’s face. “Cancer?”

Gavin nodded twice, then turned and began walking to the car. Michael followed closely, his mind racing. “S-s-so you have to go back to England right? To get treated?”

“Yeah. The sooner the better.”

“And what was that kiss?”

“It’s something I wanted to do for ages but I didn’t think you wanted to because you were with Lindsay for so long. And if I have to go home then I might not get another chance.”

Michael swallowed. “It’s gonna be fine, Gavin. We’ll get you home and you’ll get it taken care of. I promise.”

———

Six months passed, and Michael was completely torn up inside about everything. Gavin ended up having his entire left lung removed, but the cancer had metastasized to some lymph nodes and his bone marrow.

The chemo was working, albeit slowly, and Gavin remained in high spirits. But Michael hated that he couldn’t be with him.

They had daily Skype calls, but recently they had been getting shorter, since Gavin was tired a lot of the time. Sometimes it was in the office, where Burnie and Geoff and everyone joined in, and sometimes Michael was alone in his apartment. Gavin was usually in his hospital bed, and would be interrupted by  nurses or his parents scolding him to rest, but he still made the time for Michael.

One afternoon, the whole office decorated a wall with well-wishes and drawings that fans had sent to Rooster Teeth for Gavin, and they set up the camera so that everyone could sit in and say hi to him in one wide shot.

Michael logged onto Skype and waited for Gavin’s name to pop up in his friends list.

It never did.

———

Three days later, Geoff’s phone rang. It was Gavin’s mum, he’d contracted pneumonia in his weakened state and was being sedated because the pain was so bad. She told Geoff that he had signed over power of attorney to her and he had signed a do-not-resuscitate form.

Then she asked to speak to Michael. Geoff sprinted out of the room as soon as he handed the phone to him.

“He asked for you, and I don’t think—” she choked on a sob, “I don’t think he can wait much longer.”

The phone dropped from Michael’s hand, he vaguely heard Ray pick it up and begin speaking to Mrs. Free, but didn’t care. Gavin asked for him. He needed to get to England.

Burnie flew into the Achievement Hunter office and tugged on Michael’s elbow. “C’mon, we’re going to your place to pack, Gus is booking the ticket for you now. C’mon, Michael, we gotta go now. MICHAEL!”

The redhead got up, forced his feet to walk to Burnie’s truck, somehow made it up to his apartment and threw some random shit into a suitcase, showed Burnie what keys he needed to get his mail and take out the garbage, got to the airport, waited 2 hours for his flight, then spent the 17 longest hours of his life waiting to get to him.

———

Gavin’s dad was waiting for him at the airport. They climbed into a cab and Michael spent the thirty minute drive staring at his hands in his lap. It was the first time he was outside the United States, he wanted to look around and see everything, but he’d been hoping to see it when Gavin was better.

Not like this.

They got to the hospital and took a back elevator to the intensive care unit. A nurse handed a set of serile scrubs to the American, and he dressed and put on the hat. A lady, Gavin’s mum, came out of a side room and took Michael’s hand.  
“He won’t look the way you remember him,” she warned. “He’s very thin and very pale and—”

Michael waved a hand. “Just let me see him.”

“He’s awake,” she finished, and pushed the door open.

Michael walked in and around the curtain, and Gavin’s green eyes - the only thing unchanged about him - lit up. “You made it,” he said weakly.

“Yeah. I’m here, Gavino.” He sat next to him in the shitty recliner and placed his hand on one of the Brit’s frail ones. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I really missed you.” He smiled. “I got you a present.”

The redhead heaved a sigh. “You idiot, you’re the sick one. I should’ve brought you flowers or balloons or something.”

“I’m not gonna be around long to appreciate ‘em.” Gavin laughed weakly.

“Don’t say that—”

“No.” Gavin cut him off firmly. “I’ve talked to my doctors about it. I can’t treat both at the same time, and while treating one the other will kill me. Michael, I am going to die.”

Michael wiped a hand over his mouth. “You seem okay with it.”

“I am. They allowed my mom to bring in her lamb stew for me, George helped me with the computer yesterday so I could Skype with the office while you were on the plane, I said my things to Mum and Dad, and now you’re here.” The blond lifted his hand and ruffled Michael’s curls. “You were the last thing I wanted.”

They sat quietly for a moment, then Gavin licked  his dry lips. “Will you get me a drink of water?”

The older man grabbed his glass from the nearby table and aimed the straw into his mouth. “Is there anything you want me to do, before you…?”

Gavin took a long drink, coughed a little, then pushed it away. “That little green bag on the table is yours. Open it, while I’m awake.”

Michael swallowed loudly and pulled the bag to him slowly, almost reluctant to open it. Inside was a small box, and in that, a tiny silver band. He pulled it out and held it up. “The fuck is this?”

“Read the inscription.”

He had to squint to see it in the dim light, but written on the inside of the band was _Love, Dickie Bitch_. Michael gasped. “Gavin…”

“I know we never talked about what happened when I kissed you. I know you wanted to wait until I got better or at least until you came to visit. But now we either need to talk about it or we won’t ever get to. Michael, I had - _have_ \- feelings for you. I’m sorry I never told you except for the kiss.”

Michael went to slide the ring on his left ring finger but Gavin stopped him. “No, it goes on your right hand. Middle finger. Lindsay told me what size.”

He put the ring where it belonged, and clasped Gavin’s hand in both of his. “I’m sorry too. I saw the signs but I never said anything because I thought I was full of shit.”

“I didn’t give you that because I want to marry you or anything. We never talked about it and I don’t want you to think about it now. But I didn’t want to leave without you knowing how I feel so I had my mum order that. I’m glad I could give it to you.” A tear rolled down Gavin’s cheek and Michael wiped it away.

“I’m getting buried in my Converse.” Gavin choked out, fighting a coughing fit. “I wanted to be buried in a Rooster Teeth shirt but my mum refused, saying I have to wear a suit when I meet God, but I begged her for the shoes.”

“I’m glad.” He kissed Gavin’s knuckles. “Anything else?”

“I’m not scared.” Gavin grinned. “I’m ready for this to be done. I hurt a lot now, even with pain meds, and I need to go. I just wish I didn’t have to leave everyone… leave you… behind.” The smile faded and he coughed. He barely had the strength to hold a tissue to his mouth with his free hand and Michael audibly sobbed.

Gavin melted back into the pillow and his body seemed to shrink. “There. I’ve said it.”

Michael leaned forward as if to kiss the younger man, but Gavin tilted his head away. “No. I can’t. I don’t want you to remember a kiss like this. I want you to remember the one we had in Texas, when the sun was shining and it was warm, when you were still happy.”

The tears rolled freely down Michael’s cheeks as he got angry. “Dammit, Gavin, you’re the one dying and you’re comforting ME! There’s gotta be something I can do for you right now!”

Gavin squeezed his hands as tightly as he could. “Michael, you can stay with me. Just talk to me until I fall asleep and hold my hand until I’m gone.”

Michael’s anger suddenly faded and he nodded. “Of course, Gavino. I’ll be here until the end.”

They shot the shit about the latest episode of Red vs Blue, and how the Let’s Plays had gotten boring without him around, and when Gavin got tired, Michael helped him get comfortable in the pillows and watched his eyes close.

———

It took two days for Gavin’s heart to finally give out. He didn’t wake up after his last conversation with Michael, and Michael was glad for it. He didn’t want to get scolded for not taking better care of himself.

Gavin’s parents and brother were there when it happened, his mum holding one hand, Michael holding the other like he promised.

After he passed, his parents took him to their house and forced him to shower and eat something. His mum seemed happy that she had a project now in making sure Michael got taken care of, and he allowed it without issue.

He didn’t go into Gavin’s room until the family had left the house to make arrangements for the funeral. His mom had pressed his suit and laid it on the bed, his Achievement Hunter Converse in a small box alongside. Michael ran his hands over the worn sneakers and smiled a little.

There was another box on the bed, and Michael peeked into it. There was an envelope on the top with no label, and inside that was a letter in Gavin’s scrawly handwriting, explaining what was inside and who was to get each object.

As Michael read on, he realized that everyone on the list was a Rooster Teeth employee. This was the box Gavin made to be sent to the office once he died. Michael’s name wasn’t on the list, and he stared at the silver band on his right hand.

———

Michael sat between George and Dan during the funeral. The wooden pew hurt his ass and the priest droned on and on and on about Gavin like he knew him personally. There was no mention of the Slow-Mo Guys, or Rooster Teeth, or anything else important he had done.

He didn’t realize his fingers were digging into the palm of his hand until he felt Dan’s hand on his wrist. “Calm down, mate. We’ll explain later.”

The brunet’s touch was surprisingly soothing, and his hands relaxed.

They carried him out, and placed him in the ground, and slowly everyone left except for the three young men.

“Look, Michael,” George said, clearing his throat. “On that last Skype call I helped him make to Austin, he asked Burnie to plan something for him there, for his American family. It’s why the priest didn’t say anything today. That’s coming later.”

Dan clapped a hand on his shoulder. “George and I are going with you back to Austin to help out. That’s what Gavin wanted from us. He even paid for the trip.”

Michael’s jaw dropped. “Really?”

George nodded. “But before we go we promised him we’d bring you to his favorite pub and have a pint. Let’s go.”

The two Britons began walking away, but Michael hung back, staring at the hole where his best friend was laid to rest. Every memory, every moment they’d shared was flashing before his eyes and he couldn’t help but smile, quickly fading as he tilted his head up to look at the sky.

It was grey.

Grey because the world was missing the most important person, because the universe resented the loss just as himself, because the most perfect laugh was never to be heard again.

He stared at the grey clouds and frowned, tears threatening to escape his eyes once more.

He couldn’t wait to get back to Texas, to feel the warm sun on his face, the weather that had brought them together, the weather Gavin loved so much. He couldn’t wait to go back to where it had happened, to be able to see it vividly.

He couldn’t wait to be reminded of his favorite moment with his Gavin.


End file.
